How to make tarts...and have I told you that my neighbour is nuts?: Horses, Hats, Hot Baker and Bond... James Bond

Sunday was an opportunity to rest the spatula and doll myself up for a day at the races. Prix de Longines at Chantilly Racecourse was beckoning and 'Olly and I were ready for a day of fine champagne, sunshine and fun times.

Some of 'Olly's friends had organised the day and after meeting at Gard du Nord mid morning we boarded the train with several thousand other people and headed out of the city. Actually we boarded two trains. After getting comfortable in our first train, we were kicked off and moved to another one. I am not quite sure what had happened but given the number of people on the platform, I am guessing the allocated train had insufficient capacity. Credit is definitely due to Pete for pushing through the crowds and securing us seats in the second train. Very impressive.

After a quick journey we arrived at Chantilly train station which is just a few steps from a forest. After following a small track through the lush greenery, we found ourselves on the boundary of one of the most spectacular racecourses in the world. The majestic Chateau de Chantilly and the Great Stables overlook the Chantilly Racecourse and immediately set the tone for the day to come.

According to legend, Louis Henri, Duc de Bourbon, Prince of Conde believed that he would be reincarnated as a horse after his death. In 1719, he asked the architect, Jean Aubert to build stables suitable to his rank. These 186m long stables are considered by some as the most beautiful in the world. Of greater interest to me however, and to one other passionate Bond fan was that the Chateau and the Great Stables were featured prominently in the Bond movie A View to a Kill (1985), as the estate of evil Max Zorin (played by Christopher Walken). I had hoped that Roger would make a brief appearance but he must have mucked up his diary.

The race programme offered
no help

Keen to engross myself in the race day activities, I studied the race guide for about an hour in a bid to master enough racing terms to confidently place a bet. I thought I had them down pat but I was wrong and unfortunately spent twice the amount I had intended and on a combination that I hadn't really wanted. Fortunately this didn't hit the pocket too hard...then again the Aussie dollar has gone down and the NAB exchange rate is woeful. After my first loss I decided it was probably better not to place any more bets - I don't know how to pick a winner in Australia, let alone France. I did however fair better than 'Olly - she thought it appropriate to rock up to the bookie's window and place a bet of each and every race. She did everything on gut feel and hadn't even looked at the form guide until she handed over the money. She did manage one place out of her selection which pocketed her a massive 4.50 euros. I won't divulge how much she outlaid.

We could not have asked for more glorious weather for a picnic race day. 'Olly, as per usual, was using the opportunity to bronze herself to the max...apparently she doesn't burn...unlike a few of the other members in the entourage who by the end of play were rather rouge.

Everyone in our group thoroughly enjoyed commentating on the fashion wins and a number of fashion faux pas. My favourite number was a poor lady positioned just behind us - her dress reminded me of toilet paper soaked in blue duck toilet cleaner. She was happy with it which I suppose is all that counts.

A hat guaranteed free entry for ladies and I need to thank my old host mum for her contribution to my outfit. I had been in Normandy the day before and after informing her that I was off to the races the next day but didn't have a hat, she insisted that we make a last minute dash to Printemps. I was very impressed with our last minute purchase especially given I had no intention of spending more than the ticket price on a hat. I will say however that I didn't take up the shop assistant's recommendation of pinning the front part of my hat up. She thought it would be terribly fashionable. My host sister and I on the other hand did not.

Blue Lagoon! Do you still intend to

buy this hat? It is on sale for 2,500 euros

Admiring the hats on display was a lot of fun and around mid afternoon, a group of us went for a wander around the grounds to see what else we could find. We came across a milliner who was allowing a few people to try on his creations. Blue Lagoon - who was in fine form - thought if he sounded as if he was keen to buy me a hat he would be able to score us all a free glass of champagne. We had been to the champagne tent a few minutes earlier and decided not to part with our cashola. Blue Lagoon's negotiating tactics worked and they opened a new bottle of champagne for the four of us. The hats were amazing (some a little random). Not surprisingly they all came with an equally amazing price tag.

In addition to some wonderful displays of millinery craftsmanship there were a few who didn't quite have the style down pat. One girl looked like she had stolen someone's blonde locks and wrapped it around an Asterix helmet and another looked like she had branches coming off her head. Given she was also pushing a pram, I thought the hat must have been dual purpose as it worked quite nicely as a baby's mobile. I wish I had some photos because they were truly magnificent in their own special way.

A random selection found during our walk.

Seriously...

Another entertaining encounter during our wander around the course was finding a lady face planting the lawn. I could not believe my eyes and started to think maybe face planting was the latest craze taking over from planking. Just as I did with 'Olly, I prioritised a photo opportunity over determining whether this person had a pulse.

One of the highlights of the day was spotting the handsome Mr Simon Baker. As the face of Longines, hot Baker graced us with his presence and certainly caused a few hot flushes amongst the youngins. I was heading towards the stands and was nearly bowled over by a huge flock of women running after some - at this stage - unknown man. The benefit of being tall kicked in and I worked out quite quickly that it was none other than Mr Mentalist. He really is rather gorgeous.

Weary after a whole day in the sun we headed home shortly after the final race around 7:30pm. 'Olly and I went home after arriving back in Paris but a few others decided to have a few beers while trying to work out where they actually lived...